Volunteer Nation

194. Beyond the Performative - The Price of Nice with Amira Barger

Tobi Johnson, MA, CVA

In this episode of Volunteer Nation Podcast, Tobi Johnson welcomes back Amira Barger, award-winning communications executive, educator, and author of The Price of Nice: Why Comfort Keeps Us Stuck and Four Actions for Real Change

Together, they explore how “niceness” often operates as a form of social control, especially in workplaces, nonprofits, and volunteer-driven organizations, and why prioritizing comfort can come at a steep cost to individuals, teams, and missions. This conversation challenges leaders to rethink performative politeness and replace it with courage, clarity, and values-aligned action. 

If you’ve ever held back from speaking up to avoid rocking the boat, this episode will resonate deeply.

Full show notes: 194. Beyond the Performative - The Price of Nice with Amira Barger 

Performative - Episode Highlights 

  • [00:29] - Welcoming Amira Barger and Her New Book 
  • [01:24] - Amira's Background and Journey 
  • [03:09] - The Importance of Volunteer Engagement 
  • [04:44] - Transition to Communications 
  • [07:44] - The Concept of Niceness and Its Impact 
  • [10:11] - Personal Stories and Reflections on Niceness 
  • [13:44] - Niceness in the Workplace 
  • [17:19] - Challenging the Culture of Niceness 
  • [28:07] - Strategies for Effective Communication 
  • [33:41] - The Power Dynamics in Organizations 
  • [34:40] - Understanding Inclusivity and Privilege 
  • [35:17] - The Butterfly Metaphor and Emotional Labor 
  • [38:00] - Framework for Courageous Conversations 
  • [38:30] - Volunteer Program Development 
  • [40:24] - The Price of Performative Niceness 
  • [41:46] - Four-Step Model for Change Management 
  • [47:34] - Building Capacity for Discomfort 
  • [57:39] - Accountability Without Shame 


Helpful Links 


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For more tips and notes from the show, check us out at TobiJohnson.com. For any comments or questions, email us at WeCare@VolPro.net.